Dear Diary,

 "Things are always a problem with you."  They're my mum's words which are now left ringing around my head, after I asked her for some advice/comfort.

I don't like talking with the plate in my mouth.  I can talk pretty much normally without it in, but am still practicing with it in.  I don't like the feeling of eating without the plate in, but at the same time, I don't like the feeling of it in either.  So, I'm practicing eating with the plate in, but it is hard and slow.  My mouth is slowly getting back to normal, so I can open my mouth wider - which has helped - but i'm still scared about swallowing the plate, or doing something silly.  It all feels odd and unusual.  As my mum has worn a plate for years, I thought I'd ask her advice about how soon things will start to feel normal, and that is when she made the above comment.  I was taken aback, so i asked her to clarify, and she helpfully said that my entire life nothing is ever simple and things are always a problem.  Great.  Thanks then mum.

On the good side, though, I had a smear today, and it didn't hurt!  I can barely believe it, as I find them agony, and I had been dreading it for weeks, knowing that these things need to be done.  I had both children with me; DD2 slept through as I had fed her just before (we were in the library) and DD1 was good drawing a picture of a skeleton.

In the library, I restricted DD1 to 2 books, and she decided that that would be one book for herself and one book for DD2.  Then she said, she couldn't leave me out either, which is why we borrowed three books today.  Hopefully, though, she'll actually read them, as she has been going through a phase of borrowing books and not wanting to read them at all atm.
* I'm hungry.
* Who's there, Spot?
* Goldilocks and the Three Bears.

Then this afternoon has been a mixed bag.  DD1 has gone from being an angel, to hitting, kicking, pushing, both me and DD2.  I'm struggling atm, which I'm sure is because I am tired, and with the house being a mess, i feel like i can't cope.  On the good (bad) side, this isn't unusual, so i know these feelings will dissipate soon.  I have a busy week this week, so the anticipation of that probably isn't helping either.  Nevermind, there's always tomorrow.  Or maybe my mum is right - everything's a problem with me?

Yours,
LBP.

Oh, and I've made the decision NOT to apply for that job.  Whilst, I potentially could have been earning mega-money, getting back in the rat-race, putting the kids through school, and 'doing everything that you're supposed to' is the easy option.  You only live once, and if I think I could 'put up with' working for a few years, to get some money, in the same vein, I could put up with living in the house for a few years, and have more of an adventure of teaching my own.