Dear Diary,

Other than my weekly notes (weigh-in and the library visit) I haven't written anything for ages.  Part of that is that I've been really busy, part is that I didn't know what to say.

For ages I've been thinking that I should write up something about my gaudy.  I finally was about to get around to it this morning, and then I noticed I've already written a brief bit.  Boy, I must've been hungover to not notice that. LoL.  I don't really have much more to add.  DH and I did get into a bit of a discussion about HE with a couple of people from our course.  I had to laugh because one person who is against HE said that his reasons for being against it, is that young people these days always get to do what they want, and behave/act/work appallingly, so what we really need is for education to start earlier and be more full time, and not allow people to opt out if they want.  (Or words to that effect, you get the gist.)  I had to laugh, because I guarrantee that pretty much 100% of all the people he was referring to have been through the school system, so in fact all his reasons are actually pro-HE.

I have also signed DD1 up for gymnastics.  She has her first trial session tomorrow, and she's really excited so I hope she enjoys it. She will be in a class without me (good, because DD2 will be with me) but I'll be in a viewing gallery. I have two worries, but not necessarily what you'd expect: 1. That DD1 won't let me put her hair in a ponytail (a requirement as she has long hair), and we battle everyday about brushing her hair; and 2. That she will need the toilet, but not say anything, and wee everywhere. She's only just potty trained, and whilst she hasn't (yet) had an accident in public, if she is somewhere new, where she doesn't feel comfortable, I worry that she'd get embarrassed. Totally me pushing my fears on her, as I said she is really excited and looking forward to making new friends.

I'm starting to get the bug again to start organising/planning.  I'm helping organise my sister's hen night in June, and have given a few suggestions to the chief bridesmaid - she works full time so I've offered that I take on a bit more responsibility.  I actually can't say too much more about this here.  There are only two people in RL who know who I am and know I have this blog, and one of them is my sister.

Finally, I think I've had this blog long enough to notice (especially when I look at the labels I've given various posts) that my family are the most important things (people!) in my life.  Then there is a whole host of things, including library books and me losing weight, which are just interesting to me personally and I'm sure don't mean anything to anybody who happens to be reading this blog.  And after that, there are things which again are important to me, but I haven't really written about, such as being a Christian, or being a naturist.  So, whilst I don't have much to say about these at the moment, hopefully I'll try to readdress the balance slightly.  Maybe.

Yours,
LBP

My Laid Back Guide to Potty Training

My disclaimer: I am just me.  I do not claim to be an expert, I am not a nursery worker or childminder.  I do not have a million children for whom I have perfected this 'technique'.  And, I am certainly not a perfect parent, though I can dream...

1. Trust yourself and your own instincts as a parent.  You know yourself and your child the best.  This first point, can and should be the first point for every parenting issue.  Many people, myself included at times, think you need to be taught this, that, or the other before you can make any decisions yourself.  This clearly isn't true, as for the longest period of human history, there were no teachers or experts.  Following from that, experts can and do get things wrong.
2. Don't give a damn about what other people think.  Again, this can be the same for many other parenting issues.  Close your ears to peer pressure; especially from family and other people who 'mean well'.  One of my relatives decided that because I was dry day and night by the age of 2, then DD1 should be too.  So she sat DD1 on the potty and kept feeding her chocolate buttons 'until she did something'.  DD1 is a very clever girl, and just sat there eating the chocolate until it was all gone.  She then pulled up her nappy and did a wee then.  I was not happy when I found out about this 'technique' that had been tried without my knowledge, but it does explain why I am the size I am...
3. Wait for your child to be ready.  Research has shown that children will potty train quicker and easier when they are ready.  If you try to potty train earlier than suits the individual child, you will have 'accidents' for longer, and possibly stress too.  Who cares if So-and-so was potty trained at 18months, and your 3.5 year old is still in nappies?  They all (barring illness or disabilities) get their eventually.  They all, also, have the occasional accident after you thought they were fully trained.  Remember, they are children!  In the UK, at least, nurseries, pre-schools, nor schools cannot demand that your child is potty trained before attendance.
4. Allow your child to see you on the toilet.  This I found hard to contemplate, as even my DH has never seen me on the loo and I hope it stays that way forever!  But, since DD1 followed me everywhere from a young age, she had seen me use the toilet longer before I planned to potty train her.
5. Have potty/pants/knickers around the place.  Whether you plan to use potties, toilet-seats, or go straight onto the main toilet, it doesn't make much difference.  I have all three options: a potty downstairs, and a toilet seat next to the main toilet upstairs.  DD1 decides whether she goes upstairs, or if she can't hold on that long and will use the potty downstairs.  I also had knickers available, although DD1 never wanted to wear them until she was ready.
6. Don't worry about the mess.  Other parents should understand what you're going through.  If you are worried about nasty accidents, I found putting DD1 in knickers with a pull-up nappy over the top, meant she knew she had to go to the toilet in the bathroom, but if she did have an accident, the nappy would ensure there was no embarrassing mess.  Touch wood - to date DD1 hasn't had a single pooey accident.
7. Make it fun.  Don't be scared of using incentives.  I used a sticker chart with DD1 (some people go further and say if you get xxx stickers then the LO can get a present - I didn't go that far, for DD1 the sticker itself is the prize) and I know friends who have made the toilet experience into a game by 'listening for the spash' when on the toilet, or aiming at cereal in the bowl, for boys.
8. Don't be afraid to stop.  If you are finding that it's not working quite yet, just stop and start again in a month or two's time.  There's no point stressing yourself out about it. 
9. Relax.  Whether it takes a week, or a year.  If you make this as stress-free as you can for yourself, and not make a big deal about it, then it doesn't matter how long it takes.  You will soon realise that you are not doing any training, it is totally child-led (though you are facilitating by providing potties/knickers etc), and they will get there on their own!  

DD1 isn't dry at night yet; this is a developmental stage and isn't actually related to the age when they potty train during the day.  She is, though, starting to wake in the night when she does need the toilet, so I can see that will come in its own time too.

Is life coming together?

I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I've caught up on my sleep, had a shower this morning, the sun is shining and though cool, it's a gorgeous spring day today, and I managed to get the prescriptions to the doctors, the filled scripts to the chemists, done the shopping, bought birthday cards for relatives whose birthdays are this week, went to the library, and made a cheats giant mince pie with DD1 today.  Cheat's because I bought a sweet pastry case, filled it from a jar and stuck it into the oven for 30min.  I will make some icing to put on top in a minute, though, so there is a little work there.

DH was talking to his mum, and she (and therefore he) is starting to come round to the idea of HEing the girls.  It helps that we've been talking about joining DD1 up to a gymnastics class, as like most people she's most worried about the socialisation side of things.  Truly, that is the least of my worries.  But DH also explained some of our concerns about school, and she actually agreed with them - or at least the bits he told me about.  In particular, as my mum said about me, apparently DH was also held back and told to wait for everyone else to catch up to his academic level in primary school, so MIL can see why we'd be concerned about that.  These are really big steps forward.

And lots of little things show me that HE is the right direction, and that it doesn't have to be the big scary thing that some people make it out to be.  Today, DD1 totally out of the blue said, "Quatorze.  [pause] That's 14 in French!"  "Yes, it is" I replied.  There are kids studying for their GCSEs who can't count in French, and yet my three year old, says it casually over breakfast.  And then there's the cooking, gardening (which she wants to get more involved with. I'm thinking of maybe growing one/some sunflowers too), cycling, dancing, singing, squash etc that she wants to do.  And, as I mentioned before, gymnastics we actually are making steps towards.  And DD1 has been taking the magnetic words off the fridge, bringing them to DH or I and stating "this says xxxxxx".  90% of the time she is absolutely correct, and the rest, you can see where/why she has made the mistake.  For example, she came in the other day and said "this says 'toop'." I congratulated her, said well done, it looks like it could say 'toop' because 'to' says 'too' but this word is actually pronounced 'top'.

I've probably said before, but one of the reasons why I started this blog was to help document our HE efforts (as many other people do, and I've copied) and also so our family can see what's going on.  Of course, at the moment, none of our family (except my sister) even know I'm keeping a blog, so that would have to change if I'm expected them to keep up to date with our activities via it.  If we do HE, though, we will have to be careful, as I'm sure many other parents do who don't HE, not to compare DD1 and DD2.  Growing up in someone else's shadow, or someone else's potential shadow as an older child, isn't very nice.  But as parent's we're only human and we do the best we can do.

As I'm here, I might as well update about a couple of other things too.  I think DD1 is pretty much potty trained now.  She does have the very occasional accident (usually when she hasn't pulled her trousers down far enough, so got them wet) but that is getting rarer, and she always asks/takes herself to the toilet.  It's probably helped by having bare-bum days most of the time at home, but that's not a problem at all.  She is also waking up some nights to go to the toilet, or waking in the morning with a dry nappy.  I'm definitely not ready to risk her being nappiless at night yet, but these are all steps in the right direction.

DD2's weaning is going very well too.  She is having breakfast and lunch most days (she only doesn't when I/DH forget), having plenty of BFs during the day too.  Her hand-eye coordination is getting very good so she is much better at feeding herself now.  Soups/porridge I will still give her on a spoon, but toast and things she will happily hold herself, which means I can eat at the same time!  We've rearranged our living room, and put the high chair next to the table, and DD2 really enjoys being the same height and eating with us at the same time.

Yes, today (at least!) life is good.

Poo Poo Everywhere.

Pretty much self explanatory, really.

DD1 is going really well with her potty training, and is often taking herself to the toilet without me.  So, just now, she did just that.  I heard her wash her hands, and pull the flush.  (In our bathroom we have a toilet and a 'little toilet' - a potty with a lid.)  Then I heard DD1 yell "I need another wee wee".  So, she sat back on the little toilet.

After a whilst she started calling me, saying she dropped the poo.  I shouted (as I was feeding DD2 downstairs) back asking if she dropped it in the toilet?  She replied she needed help.  (TMI: she often needs help to wipe her bum when she's pooed anyway.)  So, upstairs I go...

...to find the bathroom floor, and the mat, and DD1's legs, and the top of the lid of the potty all covered in poo. Yikes!  First step was to lift DD1 straight into the bath.  She then proceeded to make pooey footprints up and down the bath.  Then I lifted all the poo-lumps into the toilet and wiped up all the smears off the floor and potty.  I ran a shallow bath for DD1 and cleaned her up.  I disinfected the floor and the potty.  I removed the mat out of the way, put DD1's clothes with the mat, and the sponge, after she'd finished the bath.  Quick towel down, and we all came downstairs.

It emerges that DD1 didn't need another wee, but a poo.  Not a nice firm stool, but a sloppy messy one.  When she finished, she went to empty the potty into the toilet, but somehow tripped (or something), splattering everything all over the place.  Nice.

DD1 is now sat on the sofa in her dressing gown, and the dirty stuff is already being washed in the machine.  I almost feel like supermum - although supermum probably wouldn't have got into that mess in the first place. LoL.

Weaning and Potty Training

Both are coming along really well! 

DD1 hasn't had an accident for ages now (and her previous ones were only because she was distracted and too busy playing).  She will tell me, when out, when she needs the toilet, and often takes herself to the toilet when at home.  She has also started waking at night to go to the toilet (she is in a nappy at night, though), but won't yet take herself.  Instead she screams/shouts until I wake up and take her.  I have put the potty in her bedroom (it has a lid, so I'm not worried about mess) but she still refuses to go herself.  It's hard, because obviously I don't want to be encouraging her to wet in her nappy at night, and yet I'm sooooo tired, I can't wait until she can either hold herself the whole night, or take herself to the toilet/potty.

Last weekend DD2 cut her first 2 teeth, just in time for her 6month birthday!  She now has eaten broccoli, (did I mention she had soup before?), crust of a pizza, porridge (home made, not baby stuff), toast and rice cake.  The soup and porridge I fed her on a spoon.  Whilst I am BLW, I'm not averse to using a spoon.   When she gets a bit bigger, she will take control, but her hand-eye coordination isn't that great yet, but it will come in time.  I'm still just giving new tastes and textures, rather than any actual meals.  I don't know whether it's best to increase the number of 'meals' or the amount of food each time.  The latter would be easier, but I think the former is what I ought to do.  As I am being child-led, she will let me know if she wants more food.  As it is, she has only a couple of times finished what I have put before her.  She will have to learn, though, because every time I feed her, DD1 decides she wants to eat from DD2's hand!  DD1 is a good eater, and always hungry.  I think she might be going through a growth spurt, because she is fairly small but eating every couple of hours atm.  Back to DD2, though, she will happily drink cooled boild water from a freeflow beaker.  I'm only offering water with food (specifically with food that I find dries my mouth out: porridge, banana and rice cakes), but she will grab the hands and drink.  As I'm BFing, I probably shouldn't be giving any water at all, but I am please at how she is taking the beaker.  Maybe next time she has EBM or FM, we should try giving it to her from a beaker, rather than a bottle, to see if she takes it easier? Hmmmm...

Dear Diary,

What a difference a sleep makes!  Yesterday I was feeling totally overwhelmed with everything, couldn't cope with DD1's tantrums, the state of the house nor DD2 crying.  And yet, DD2 slept through last night!  Not only did she not wake for a feed, she slept in DD1's room all night (as such, I should probably stop calling it DD1's room).

Today, I managed to tidy the living room!  To most people, that's probably not that big a thing, but our house is a mess, so this was massive!  Normally when I try, DD1 is undoing my tidying at a faster rate than I can tidy it in the first place.  Today, she was helping and not getting in my way (which is as good as helping).  I got a load of boxes and filled them with toys and took them upstairs; they're not sorted, but that can be left for another day.  I put tonnes of rubbish in the bin and recycling boxes, I swept up, hoovered the cushions and sofa, febreezed the sofa and curtains, and made the house (well, the front room) looking nice.  And because I promised/bribed DD1 to help me, this afternoon we made fairy cakes together, and iced them with pink icing.  As always, the red food dye spilt on my hands, so I now have a red thumb and first finger.

Potty training is going well too.  Yesterday we went to the cafe to meet some friends and DD1 was just in knickers (ie with no nappy over the top) and was fine on the bus, in the cafe and shopping afterwards.  She asked me a few times to go to the toilet, did so, and got lots of stickers when we returned home. 

And weaning DD2 is going well, too.  Today she had butternut squash soup, which she loved.  She has been a bit sicky this evening (tmi: orangey/milky) so I hope it wasn't the soup, but at least we know she loves trying different flavours.  I spoonfed her, rather than letting her have the spoon herself, and still made a mess everywhere.  I'm glad that most of the time I'm doing fingerfoods, as it's much less messy than mush!

Tonight we had an Indian takeaway for tea, and a glass of wine.  Today is the last day of DH's work, as he starts a new job on Monday.  So we had a treat for a mini celebration.  He was also given a cake from work, and because he took in with him doughnuts, he brought the cake home.  Not much dieting going on this weekend then.

Anyway, that's me for now.  Thanks for listening.
LBP

Potty Training

We're potty training DD1 and it seems to be going well.  The 'rules' are that in the house she is to be in knickers, at night she is in a nappy/pull-up and when out of the house she will either be in just knickers, or knickers with a nappy over the top (the idea being that she will still feel wet, but we won't have the mess in the car or wherever we happen to be out of the house).

In the main, DD1 is dry (typically she did have an accident this morning, because she was too engrossed in playing), and I've even started going on the bus without DD1 being in a nappy!  I do feel that the 'training' is more for my benefit, rather than DD1, and that if I never put a nappy on her again (during the day) she'd be absolutely fine.  I don't have that confidence, yet.