Dear Diary,

Other than my weekly notes (weigh-in and the library visit) I haven't written anything for ages.  Part of that is that I've been really busy, part is that I didn't know what to say.

For ages I've been thinking that I should write up something about my gaudy.  I finally was about to get around to it this morning, and then I noticed I've already written a brief bit.  Boy, I must've been hungover to not notice that. LoL.  I don't really have much more to add.  DH and I did get into a bit of a discussion about HE with a couple of people from our course.  I had to laugh because one person who is against HE said that his reasons for being against it, is that young people these days always get to do what they want, and behave/act/work appallingly, so what we really need is for education to start earlier and be more full time, and not allow people to opt out if they want.  (Or words to that effect, you get the gist.)  I had to laugh, because I guarrantee that pretty much 100% of all the people he was referring to have been through the school system, so in fact all his reasons are actually pro-HE.

I have also signed DD1 up for gymnastics.  She has her first trial session tomorrow, and she's really excited so I hope she enjoys it. She will be in a class without me (good, because DD2 will be with me) but I'll be in a viewing gallery. I have two worries, but not necessarily what you'd expect: 1. That DD1 won't let me put her hair in a ponytail (a requirement as she has long hair), and we battle everyday about brushing her hair; and 2. That she will need the toilet, but not say anything, and wee everywhere. She's only just potty trained, and whilst she hasn't (yet) had an accident in public, if she is somewhere new, where she doesn't feel comfortable, I worry that she'd get embarrassed. Totally me pushing my fears on her, as I said she is really excited and looking forward to making new friends.

I'm starting to get the bug again to start organising/planning.  I'm helping organise my sister's hen night in June, and have given a few suggestions to the chief bridesmaid - she works full time so I've offered that I take on a bit more responsibility.  I actually can't say too much more about this here.  There are only two people in RL who know who I am and know I have this blog, and one of them is my sister.

Finally, I think I've had this blog long enough to notice (especially when I look at the labels I've given various posts) that my family are the most important things (people!) in my life.  Then there is a whole host of things, including library books and me losing weight, which are just interesting to me personally and I'm sure don't mean anything to anybody who happens to be reading this blog.  And after that, there are things which again are important to me, but I haven't really written about, such as being a Christian, or being a naturist.  So, whilst I don't have much to say about these at the moment, hopefully I'll try to readdress the balance slightly.  Maybe.

Yours,
LBP

Library Visit

We got out of the library:

• Mr Frost, by Blackford and Watson
• French and English Wordbook, by Farris
• The Little Red Hen, by Dolan and Blake
• There was a Crooked Man, by Punter and Semple
• Spots in a Bad Mood, by Wallace and Williams.

and,

• Noisy boats, by Bright Baby

for DD2.  And DD2 got her 3rd certificate for the Book Crawl!

Weekly Weigh-in

Current weight: 69kg
Goal weight: 10st
Weight lost this week: 0.5kg
Total weight loss:9kg

Getting there, getting there.

Library Visit

As last week (or was it the week before?) we were late to the library, so they didn't do Rhyme Time, I made sure we left earlier this past Monday.  Even though we had more to do before we got to the library, we still ended up getting there 20minutes early!  DD1 was in a very excited mood and was jumping all over the place.  That was until the male librarian tried to lead the session.  TBH it is not helped by the fact he is not the most natural person wrt kids, and he also doesn't know most of the rhymes or tunes.  He decided he wanted to sing "A Hedgehog is very prickly", so DD1 started banging on the drum and singing aloud.  The librarian repeatedly said "sorry, I don't know that one - can we sing ..." so I had to point out that DD1 was already singing, and by now, had sung that song.  I do realise that often parents are the only people that can understand and decipher their own children, but DD1 is very eloquent (which was again commented upon by the HV yesterday), very understandable, and much more tuneful than the librarian himself, so even if he could not understand her words, there was no mistaking the tune!  Anyway, things went a bit downhill from there.  DD1 was refusing to join in at some parts, and when DD2 finally woke up, the librarian said he was going to stop.  Again, I had to step in and say that DD2 actually likes nursery rhymes, especially "Grand Old Duke of York", but it wasn't until I finally persuaded DD1 to start singing again, that DD2 got to hear some tunes.  The Rhyme Time sessions only last 30min, so it seems a shame that when we do turn up, they try to end it early.  My two are the only children who regularly attend (very often, the only children who attend at all), but I'd rather they cancelled it altogether, than try to cut it short on a specific day, itms.  Anyway...

We got out of the library:

• The Cat in the Hat Comes Back, by Dr. Seuss
• Weather, by Clarke
• Just one more! by Orme and Blake
• When a Monster is Born, by Taylor and Sharratt
• Go away, Baby! by Llewellyn and Lovsin
• Goal! by Matthew and Heyworth

and,

• Black and White, by Amazing Baby

for DD2.  A good selection of books, and DD1 was really interested in all her selection.

So we walked home, emptied the shopping and books from under the pushchair, and noticed that half the books were missing!  We literally walked straight back from the library to home (we went shopping before the library), and I didn't notice at all anything falling out of the basket.  I had a quick look on our road, but there wasn't anything to see.  There was nothing for it, we had to go back to the library and home that either it was still lying on the pavement or some nice person had handed it in.
I strap DD2 back in the pushchair, put DD1's wellie back on her feet and go for a walk back to the library.  On the good side, the weather has been lovely these past few days, so we didn't bother with coats or anything.  No sign of the books anywhere.  Part of me was tempted to go home, but we did go and ask at the library.  Phew!  Somebody had handed the books in. Apparently they were found outside the shop, which we didn't go past, so I can only guess that somebody had found them on the path and dumped them by the shop, before some other kind soul returned them to the library.  (The library and shop are on other sides of a green, known as The Circle - I won't explain why. LoL)  so we got to take the books home again.

DD1 was very pleased because for the past few weeks she has been tlaking about clouds, and the weather, and is really interested.  She was desperate to get this book out of the library again, and typically it was one of the books that had fallen out of the pushchair.  She is now very knowledgeable about the weather, and whilst she does get confused about somethings (she is only 3, after all!) I can see how HE benefits children by allowing them to learn at their own pace and what they are interested in.
I'm still reading "How Children Learn" by John Holt (which I took out the library last week).  It is very interesting, and I will do another book review when I have finished it.

Weigh-in

Current weight: 69.5kg
Goal weight: 10st
Weight lost this week: Nothing
Total weight loss:8.5kg

Just realised I forgot to update this on Monday (again). No change this week. Not bad, because I had a big night out on Friday and ended up, not only eating, but drinking waaay too much.
I have been trying to be more sensible this week, but still ended up having a takeaway on Wednesday night.
Next week will be better... I hope.

Busy Busy

We (DH and I) spent a looooong time last week cleaning up and sorting things out, and some part of our house are almost unrecogniseable!  I may have already said, but we rearranged our living room, so that the sofa was in the middle of the room, and the dining table up behind (it's a butterfly folding one) which, so far, has had the desired effect of us eating altogether at the table, especially because the high chair is there too.

We have also tidied our bedroom , moving DD1's toy boxes back into her room, and putting DD2's moses basket back in the loft.  She sleeps in DD1's room (which I need to starting calling their shared bedroom) everynight now, and has started sleeping through - touch wood.  She has had a couple fo nights waking up again, but I'm hoping that we are now well on the road of sleeping through.

So, why have we tidied everything?  My mum was coming to visit to babysit both the LOs on Friday, whilst DH and I went to our Gaudy.  It's over ten years since we started university, and it was good to meet up with old friends, may of whom I hadn't seen since we left.  Some of our friends were complaining that they felt old, I didn't, partly because I'm always seen as young compared to some of my mum-friends who are over 10-years older than me.  We had a good time, but I had too much to drink.  I'm not an 18yr old anymore, and having gone through 2 alcohol free pregnancies, and I'm still BFing DD2 (so am barely drinking even now) I've forgotton how much of a lightweight I am.  In addition to that, being good hosts, our glasses were never empty: champagne, white wine, red wine, and after dinner drinks.  On the good side, DH said he didn't realise how drunk I was until we got to our room, so I don't think I've done anything too embarrassing in public.

Yesterday we caught the bus home and that's when I realised how old I am.  The older you get, the worse the hangovers are, and I was not looking forward to having two boistrous, excited LOs jumping all over me, as much as I had missed them for the night.  My mum seemed to have had a good time with them (and them with her), and I went to bed for a few hours, whilst DH looked after them and my mum left for home.  Later, DH went to bed, whilst I stayed with them.

Today, we have actually been really productive - or at lest it feels that way.  We;ve done 2 lots of clothes washing, walked to a pub for lunch and walked back, and I've done loads of gardening.  I have doubled (!) the size of my vegetable patch and pruned back some of the bushes in the garden.  I haven't double dug the veg patch, but tbh I'm starting to think that is too much like hard work for my liking.  Recently, I bought some garden gloves, some seeds, and a trowel/fork and a watering can for DD1.  DD1 was helping me dig the patch, as I was doing the gardening and wasn't getting too much in the way.  I hope as she gets older, it's something we can do together.

Anyway, must go as DD2 has just woken up and is crying.

Library Visit

I've realised I haven't posted much this week, including forgetting to list the books we got out of the library last Monday when we'll probably be returning them tomorrow.

• Dangerous Animals, by Gilpin
• Splash! by Llewellyn and Beard
• Poppy's Teddy, by John and Latimer
• Penguins, by Bone
• Harry and the Dinosaurs Tell the Time, by Whybrow and Reynolds.

The library has a new selection of Usborne Beginners books, the Dangerous Animals and Penguins and the weather book from last week.  DD1 seems to really like them.  There's no story at all, just information and fun facts, but written specifically for young children.   Whereas Splash! is a storybook, but one to encourage independant reading, and DD1 can read that (and Go, Go, Go - which is from the same series) by herself which is great.  Her favourite book this week was Tell the Time, but that;s because it has got a clock with moveable hands (which 'tick' as they move) which she liked moving around.  Although the book only teaches o'clock, DD1 surprised us by getting the quarter to/past correct when we asked her (she already knew o'clock and half past).

Weigh-in

Current weight: 69.5kg
Goal weight: 10st
Weight lost this week: 1kg
Total weight loss:8.5kg

I'm my upper-target of 10st-something.

My Laid Back Guide to Potty Training

My disclaimer: I am just me.  I do not claim to be an expert, I am not a nursery worker or childminder.  I do not have a million children for whom I have perfected this 'technique'.  And, I am certainly not a perfect parent, though I can dream...

1. Trust yourself and your own instincts as a parent.  You know yourself and your child the best.  This first point, can and should be the first point for every parenting issue.  Many people, myself included at times, think you need to be taught this, that, or the other before you can make any decisions yourself.  This clearly isn't true, as for the longest period of human history, there were no teachers or experts.  Following from that, experts can and do get things wrong.
2. Don't give a damn about what other people think.  Again, this can be the same for many other parenting issues.  Close your ears to peer pressure; especially from family and other people who 'mean well'.  One of my relatives decided that because I was dry day and night by the age of 2, then DD1 should be too.  So she sat DD1 on the potty and kept feeding her chocolate buttons 'until she did something'.  DD1 is a very clever girl, and just sat there eating the chocolate until it was all gone.  She then pulled up her nappy and did a wee then.  I was not happy when I found out about this 'technique' that had been tried without my knowledge, but it does explain why I am the size I am...
3. Wait for your child to be ready.  Research has shown that children will potty train quicker and easier when they are ready.  If you try to potty train earlier than suits the individual child, you will have 'accidents' for longer, and possibly stress too.  Who cares if So-and-so was potty trained at 18months, and your 3.5 year old is still in nappies?  They all (barring illness or disabilities) get their eventually.  They all, also, have the occasional accident after you thought they were fully trained.  Remember, they are children!  In the UK, at least, nurseries, pre-schools, nor schools cannot demand that your child is potty trained before attendance.
4. Allow your child to see you on the toilet.  This I found hard to contemplate, as even my DH has never seen me on the loo and I hope it stays that way forever!  But, since DD1 followed me everywhere from a young age, she had seen me use the toilet longer before I planned to potty train her.
5. Have potty/pants/knickers around the place.  Whether you plan to use potties, toilet-seats, or go straight onto the main toilet, it doesn't make much difference.  I have all three options: a potty downstairs, and a toilet seat next to the main toilet upstairs.  DD1 decides whether she goes upstairs, or if she can't hold on that long and will use the potty downstairs.  I also had knickers available, although DD1 never wanted to wear them until she was ready.
6. Don't worry about the mess.  Other parents should understand what you're going through.  If you are worried about nasty accidents, I found putting DD1 in knickers with a pull-up nappy over the top, meant she knew she had to go to the toilet in the bathroom, but if she did have an accident, the nappy would ensure there was no embarrassing mess.  Touch wood - to date DD1 hasn't had a single pooey accident.
7. Make it fun.  Don't be scared of using incentives.  I used a sticker chart with DD1 (some people go further and say if you get xxx stickers then the LO can get a present - I didn't go that far, for DD1 the sticker itself is the prize) and I know friends who have made the toilet experience into a game by 'listening for the spash' when on the toilet, or aiming at cereal in the bowl, for boys.
8. Don't be afraid to stop.  If you are finding that it's not working quite yet, just stop and start again in a month or two's time.  There's no point stressing yourself out about it. 
9. Relax.  Whether it takes a week, or a year.  If you make this as stress-free as you can for yourself, and not make a big deal about it, then it doesn't matter how long it takes.  You will soon realise that you are not doing any training, it is totally child-led (though you are facilitating by providing potties/knickers etc), and they will get there on their own!  

DD1 isn't dry at night yet; this is a developmental stage and isn't actually related to the age when they potty train during the day.  She is, though, starting to wake in the night when she does need the toilet, so I can see that will come in its own time too.

Is life coming together?

I'm sure it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I've caught up on my sleep, had a shower this morning, the sun is shining and though cool, it's a gorgeous spring day today, and I managed to get the prescriptions to the doctors, the filled scripts to the chemists, done the shopping, bought birthday cards for relatives whose birthdays are this week, went to the library, and made a cheats giant mince pie with DD1 today.  Cheat's because I bought a sweet pastry case, filled it from a jar and stuck it into the oven for 30min.  I will make some icing to put on top in a minute, though, so there is a little work there.

DH was talking to his mum, and she (and therefore he) is starting to come round to the idea of HEing the girls.  It helps that we've been talking about joining DD1 up to a gymnastics class, as like most people she's most worried about the socialisation side of things.  Truly, that is the least of my worries.  But DH also explained some of our concerns about school, and she actually agreed with them - or at least the bits he told me about.  In particular, as my mum said about me, apparently DH was also held back and told to wait for everyone else to catch up to his academic level in primary school, so MIL can see why we'd be concerned about that.  These are really big steps forward.

And lots of little things show me that HE is the right direction, and that it doesn't have to be the big scary thing that some people make it out to be.  Today, DD1 totally out of the blue said, "Quatorze.  [pause] That's 14 in French!"  "Yes, it is" I replied.  There are kids studying for their GCSEs who can't count in French, and yet my three year old, says it casually over breakfast.  And then there's the cooking, gardening (which she wants to get more involved with. I'm thinking of maybe growing one/some sunflowers too), cycling, dancing, singing, squash etc that she wants to do.  And, as I mentioned before, gymnastics we actually are making steps towards.  And DD1 has been taking the magnetic words off the fridge, bringing them to DH or I and stating "this says xxxxxx".  90% of the time she is absolutely correct, and the rest, you can see where/why she has made the mistake.  For example, she came in the other day and said "this says 'toop'." I congratulated her, said well done, it looks like it could say 'toop' because 'to' says 'too' but this word is actually pronounced 'top'.

I've probably said before, but one of the reasons why I started this blog was to help document our HE efforts (as many other people do, and I've copied) and also so our family can see what's going on.  Of course, at the moment, none of our family (except my sister) even know I'm keeping a blog, so that would have to change if I'm expected them to keep up to date with our activities via it.  If we do HE, though, we will have to be careful, as I'm sure many other parents do who don't HE, not to compare DD1 and DD2.  Growing up in someone else's shadow, or someone else's potential shadow as an older child, isn't very nice.  But as parent's we're only human and we do the best we can do.

As I'm here, I might as well update about a couple of other things too.  I think DD1 is pretty much potty trained now.  She does have the very occasional accident (usually when she hasn't pulled her trousers down far enough, so got them wet) but that is getting rarer, and she always asks/takes herself to the toilet.  It's probably helped by having bare-bum days most of the time at home, but that's not a problem at all.  She is also waking up some nights to go to the toilet, or waking in the morning with a dry nappy.  I'm definitely not ready to risk her being nappiless at night yet, but these are all steps in the right direction.

DD2's weaning is going very well too.  She is having breakfast and lunch most days (she only doesn't when I/DH forget), having plenty of BFs during the day too.  Her hand-eye coordination is getting very good so she is much better at feeding herself now.  Soups/porridge I will still give her on a spoon, but toast and things she will happily hold herself, which means I can eat at the same time!  We've rearranged our living room, and put the high chair next to the table, and DD2 really enjoys being the same height and eating with us at the same time.

Yes, today (at least!) life is good.

Library Visit

• Weather, by Clarke
• A fly went by, McClintock and Seibel
• Go Go Go, by Llewellyn and Beard
• The enormous turnip, by James and Chambers
• Little Princess: I want to be a Cavegirl! by Ross

We went to the library today, but they didn't do Rhyme Time today because we were 10 min late.  We're often/mainly the only people who go, so if we don't go, they don't do it.  In fact, that's why our next door neighbours don't go anymore.  Our neighbours have twins 6 months younger than DD1.  We used to all walk to the library toghether, but one time when we couldn't make it, the twins went with their mum to be told it wasn't running because DD1 wasn't there (at the time DD2 wasn't born), even though there's two of them!  My neighbour was understandably upset, and they've never gone back. 
Having said all that, I was still a bit miffed they didn't do a few minutes of singing, especially because DD1 kept asking for it, it is meant to run for 30min anyway, and we were only 10min late.  That won't stop us going again, because the LOs enjoy it too much.  DD1 still had fun choosing new books for this week.

Weigh-in

Current weight: 70.5kg
Goal weight: 10st
Weight lost this week: 0.5kg
Total weight loss: 7.5kg

My BMI is now 26.5! (Not that I think BMI is the be all and and all, but when I started my diet before I got pg with DD2, my BMI was 34, and I hadn't calculated it again, since.)

I'm struggling at the moment in the nights. After dinner, after the LOs have gone to bed, I seem to get hungry again about 10/11pm. If I can cope without anything, in the morning I feel normal again; if I do eat a small snack, I'm absolutely starving and end up eating too much.

Dear Diary,

I didn't have a good day on Friday.  DD1 decided to fight me over everything and even resorted to hitting me to get what she wants.  I didn't hit her, but restrained her every time she hit me, for 3 mins (a min/year of her life) and it felt like she was in time out more than she was in time in!

Then, when I wanted to complain/moan to DH he, less than sympathetically, asked if I couldn't just be happy. Cue flashbacks to my teenager years, when I was depressed and suicidal, and my dad could ask me why I was so miserable the whole time.  :-(  On the good side, though, DH did apologise later on.  But, after the day I had had, I was feeling a bit lonely.  Things did improve over the weekend though.

I've decided to dye my hair: Damson Wine  It's not the colour I initially was thinking.  I wanted to go a more vibrant purple (Mystic Violet) but DH wasn't too keen, so our compromise was this more plummy colour.  I'm hoping he'll help me tonight to put it in my hair.  In a couple of weeks, it's my university's 10 year reunion (from when we started) and so I'm looking forward to dressing up in black tie.  I've planned to get my hair cut into a new style on the friday too, I just don't know whether to dye my hair tonight, or next Sunday, in time for the following friday.

We have also rearranged our living room, so it feels more cosy, but also allows us to have our butterfly dining table open all the time, and we've moved the high chair next to the table, ready for DD2.  She's sat in there a couple of times now, and seems to enjoy being sat with us when we're eating, whilst being annoyed that she can't eat what we're eating.  The weaning is going well, but slowly for her!

And today I managed to get some time in the garden too, despite going to the pub for lunch to watch my team lose (and DH's team win :-( ).  DH and I are both football fans, but our teams are arch rivals!  Whilst his team may have won today, we are higher in the league and generally much better.  So there.  Back to the gardening, though, I managed to double-dig half the plot that I've got so far.  I would have liked to have done the whole thing, but considering I was simultaneously helping DD1 on her bike, helping her to help me, and then I had to stop for a good 30mins to BF DD2, I thought that wasn't bad going. :-)

Hope you, in your diary-world, are well.
Regards,
LBP

Easy Peasy Soup

500ml/1pt vegetable stock
500g peas, thawed/fresh
salt & pepper to taste

Blitz all ingrediets until smooth. 
Heat through in saucepan.
Done!

I don't normally like peas, but I loved this soup.  Tried it for the first time today (DD1 loves peas) and am very pleased with the result.  I now understand what people are saying when they describe pea as a sweet vegetable. Both DD1 and DD2 had seconds.  It is a bit runny for BLW so I spoonfed her.  Now she's asleep on me feeding.
I should also probably say that you don't need to be too accurate with the measurements (they're approximate anyway); I guessed and the soup was still yummy.

Learning as we go

The thing that really appeals to me about HEing is that you don't necessarily notice when you are learning.  Whenever DD1 asks questions, as she does ALL the time, I do my best to answer them.  And the result?  Yesterday, she counted to 39 in French!!! She can nearly count to 10 in German, and she's only 3.  This morning she was talking (correctly) about the past, present and future.  She was talking the magnetic words off the fridge, bringing them to me saying "this says 'February' " and even when she reads one wrong (she read 'three' instead of 'there') or mispronounces a word (she pronounce 'out' as ' 'oh-oo-t') I can see that she is reading the words, as I can see how the 'mistakes' have arisen.  She knows the days of the week, months of the year, and the birthdays (and house numbers!) of everybody in our family.  Given that both my and DH's parents are divorced and we have 3 sets of great-grandparents still alive, that's a lot of information.  And now, she is playing the recorder, or at least, trying to. 

And DD2 is coming on leaps and bounds too.  We're weaning, but I sometimes forget she needs food too, especially if I'm in a rush.  So, even though I'm BLW, I bought some baby-porridge as it's much quicker to do - and I still forgot.  Today at lunchtime DD1 asked for sausage, peas and mash, so that's exactly what we ate.  DD2 ate mash potato (mixed sweet and normal) off a spoon and loved it.  I'm sure I've said before, but I'm not averse to giving her something off a spoon, as long as I'm attentive to her cues about whether she wants more food or not.  I think that the most important thing is being child-led.